This may not be the most articulate post, because I had my wisdom teeth out so I'm currently on Vicodin. But we'll see how it goes :)
During my drug-induced stupor and boredom, I've been reading articles from the NY Times about the Connecticut shootings. I cry very easily, so I haven't been able to read many about the victims. I did read the eulogy of one of the boys, Noah, out of respect but it just upset me too much.
However, I did read a lot of the coverage on the aftermath and this included "Fears of Stigmatizing People with Autism." Many individuals have stated that rather than increased gun control, we need reform of the mental health system in the United States. Personally, I believe that our country needs both things, but that's not what I'm going to talk about right now.
Before this tragedy, the gunman had been diagnosed with Asbergers. The NY Times states:
"...experts say there is no evidence that they are more likely than any other group to commit violent crimes. 'Aggression in autism spectrum disorders is almost never directed to people outside the family or immediate caregivers, is almost never planned, and almost never involves weapons,' said Dr. Catherine Lord, director for Autism and the Developing Mind at the New York Presbyterian Hospital."
That being said, many individuals are worried that this event will create a stigma for those who are on the autism spectrum.
This hits particularly close to home for me, because both my brother and sister are on the autism spectrum. My sister does not have the most developed social skills and used to have a much worse habit of stealing things, particularly from members of our family, which has gotten better with therapy and time. Earlier today she was saying how she doesn't want to be popular, she just wants A friend, and it absolutely broke my heart.
My brother's case is a little more extreme. I recently read a blog entry that has become somewhat viral since the shootings. It is written by the mother of a child who has mental illnesses, including Asbergers. She tells a story of him pulling a knife on her after she suggests that he return his library books. She states later in the post: "I love my son. But he terrifies me."
This is how I feel about my brother some days. He is four years old now, so still not particularly intimidating, since we are all still much larger than him. But that little forty-pound boy can already pack a punch. The blog post talks briefly about "intermittent explosive disorder," which I didn't even know existed as a term before reading about it this week. It describes my brother pretty accurately.
Jakey often has difficulty making eye contact with strangers, which isn't particularly out of the ordinary for little kids. He has a much stronger reaction to anyone looking at him or referring to him in anyway. This usually involves screaming, flailing, and hitting anyone in reach (usually a member of my family). At Starbucks recently, he started screaming and crying because a man made some small comment directed at him.
The same thing happens often at home; Jake throws giant fits and becomes extremely violent at the merest suggestions he do something, such as "maybe you should put on some pants" ( a common suggestion in our household). Most of our kitchen stools are broken from him bowling them over out of anger and I'm frequently having to block my head from shoes or large toys being hurled at me, sometimes for no apparent reason. About a week ago, Jake screamed and cried for about half an hour because I had unknowingly walked in front of the tv for a split second while he was watching it.
We have also talked about Tourettes as a possibility, since Jake is constantly pulling out his use of vulgar language on people, even though when you talk to him at a calmer time, he claims he can't control himself. He has been known to call strangers that anger him "fucking idiots" to their faces.
I believe that my parents are extremely well-equipped to deal with Jake's violent outbursts and explosions of anger/yelling. They are constantly reading about things to do to calm him down and how to be careful not to trigger him. We have a mantra of "you are safe, you're okay," constantly running during Jake's meltdowns.
It's hard not to be afraid that my siblings will never be able to live normal lives. I care about them so much and I want them to be happy and healthy always. I don't believe that my brother will ever be so violent as to commit any acts even close to what has happened in society lately (especially since he is only four years old now) and as I said before, my parents are constantly working to help him and get him help.
There is still a small inkling of fear that he will hurt someone. It's difficult to read about things like this in the media without relating them somewhat to my own life (which is also difficult, since the children killed were very close to the same age as my brother; I truly can't even imagine).
I think I just need to continue with my faith in the fact that both my brother and sister were adopted into our family for a reason. I don't think that anyone is given situations in life that they are not prepared to handle, and I think that my family has been blessed.
Sources:
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/18/our-sons-are-not-future-killers/?smid=tw-nytimeshttp://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/dec-17-updates-on-connecticut-shooting-aftermath/?smid=tw-nytimes#autism
http://gawker.com/5968818/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother
